I hear from people who don’t live with him that Honey Badger is doing much better. I think so, too, but things aren’t perfect and maybe it’s just a temporary respite or maybe I’m seeing what I want to see or…
Parenthood isn’t the first situation that gave me a vast array of opportunities to second-guess myself, but parenthood took those opportunities to new levels of fretting.
Calling in a professional helped us deal with Honey Badger’s self-defeating patterns. Calling on certain of my friends helps me with mine. I’ve got a core group among my friends that I think of as Team Sanity. They have my best interests at heart. They think I’m a good mother. And each one of them has a child who has required therapy. So when I fire up the Crap Signal, they provide informed perspective on how crappy things are, whether what I did made things worse, and what can be done to improve the situation.
I can never ever thank them enough — I try, I do! — but I’m throwing out some gratitude into the universe to unnamed women on an anonymous blog. Maybe some of it will reach someone else’s Team Sanity. I’d hate to think I’m the only person who has one, although it doesn’t bother me that mine is the best. I need a Team Sanity. It’s not my fault I’ve got the best one possible. (Is it? Maybe I’m being greedy. Wow. I am terrible.)